'tethers'

i'm finding the tethers you gave to me.

tethers holding down my soul
they bind me.
i am finding it harder to breathe,
the more i see them,
the more i know their presence,
the more bound i know that i am
and that i have been

they twist and knot themselves together,
find weakened spots and plant root
deeper into my core
my being

but i have a few tools to show them
i'll introduce them
to my will,
my faith,
my endurance,
my never ending supply of tenacity

me and my God will win in the end!
the final blow will be ours!
and the roots will slip from me
like withering petals
gently retreating,
letting go of the whole of me

the tethers of dependency
of willfulness and denial
of wanting my way or no way
of extremism
of passivity and cowering
of fear and doubt
of survival

the tethers of my lack of knowing self,
low confidence and instability,
the binding of self in 'what ifs'
and what had been,
the strangling tethers of
self sacrifice to the nth
and pain and the victim role

oh yes, i will be freed
free to feel and to want
and to give without loosing all i have
the freedom to fly
in the face of fear,
to be the whole of me

i'll be free!
praise the High and Holy God,
i will never cower then!